


undone by wont

by limit_breaker



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Asphyxiation, Emotional Repression, Knifeplay, M/M, Not entirely SSC, Orgasm Denial, Power Dynamics, Rough Sex, Sadomasochism, Sounding, Switching, Under-negotiated Kink, dubcon, get over it you infants, hatefucking, yes SWITCHING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 14:23:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20292928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limit_breaker/pseuds/limit_breaker
Summary: Kylo's choice of a safe word is hardly what Hux had in mind. But it doesn't matter. He won't be the one using it anyway.And other lies.





	undone by wont

**Author's Note:**

> I miss hard Kylux, BUT. I also, occasionally, like soft Kylux. So I wrote some fucked up Kylux.
> 
> Because some of you seem to need a reminder: This is FICTION. It is NOT relationship goals. Do not behave like this irl. Therapists exist for a reason! Don't like, don't read.

* * *

**_Be wary, then._ **

** _Best safety lies in fear._ **

** _Youth to itself rebels,_ **

** _though none else near._ **

================

Hux leans back in his chair, looking annoyingly smug.

"So. You're propositioning me for sex?" He says, the amused cadence of his voice somehow irritating Kylo even more than if Hux had just faked offense and told him to get the hell out.

"If you're agreeable to it," Kylo responds with a half- shrug. "Otherwise, I'll wipe your memory and this conversation never happened."

Hux snorts. "If you were really capable of such things, I suspect it wouldn't matter if I were agreeable to it or not," he says darkly.

Kylo looks away and does not comment.

After a long moment, Hux makes his decision. "Fine, I'm agreeable, I suppose. But I should warn you, Ren: my sexual proclivities are somewhat... different than those you might be used to."

Kylo's eyebrows pinch together. He looks in Hux's direction, though not quite at him yet. "Meaning?"

"Sex, for me," Hux says, "is about power. Control. And I like a certain level of... physicality, shall we say? I am not gentle, nor am I kind. Nor would I want you to be."

Kylo is heartened by this, actually. He wouldn't have wanted Hux to get the wrong idea about him, think he was looking for a _lover_. No, he most certainly was not. He was looking for release-- someone to take his frustrations out on, or someone who would take their frustrations out on him. Hux was a natural choice for this, of course. Their mutual hatred is exactly the kind of rocket fuel Kylo needs to power his sex drive.

"I wouldn't have expected otherwise," Kylo says. "In fact, it was why I decided to come to you. My interests run along the same lines."

"Excellent," Hux says, leaning forward again and indicating to a stack of flimisis on his desk. "I can't entertain you tonight, I'm afraid, there is simply too much work to be done, but three cycles from now. My chambers."

"Fine."

"Is there anything off the table, so to speak? Any limits or restrictions?"

Kylo could laugh. Like there were things Hux could do that Kylo Ren couldn't take. And even if there were, Kylo wouldn't tell him anyway. Hux is a manipulative fuck, he would only use these weaknesses against him. "No."

"Good," Hux grins. A vicious thing. "Then all that's left is for you to select a safe word and I'll see you in three standard cycles."

Kylo scoffs. "A safe word?" Such things are beneath him and his level of play. Yet again, Hux underestimates him. He won't for long. "That's very responsible of you, General. I, however, will not be needing one."

"You will have one, Ren," Hux replies icily. "I do things properly," he says, "or not at all."

Kylo narrows his eyes. "_I_ don't need a safe word, I have no limits."

Hux sits up straighter, preparing for a fight. "This isn't about you or your pride, Ren--"

"No," Kylo interrupts, "It's about you and yours, isn't it, Hux?"

Hux sets his mouth into a fine, thin line. His tone darkens, "Either pick a safe word, or this is finished before it starts."

"I told you, I don't need it. Unlike you, I'm not a little bitch."

At this, Hux smirks. "I beg to differ."

Kylo takes a step closer, rests his balled fists on Hux's desk and leans over into his space. "You, begging. For me. Now that, I would like to see," he says in a low, mocking tone.

Hux's smugness fades quickly into a scowl. For a moment, Kylo swears Hux is going to up and slap him. There is a tension growing in his groin from the very idea. But it seems Hux is holding firm on this issue.

Kylo huffs and looks away. "Fine," he concedes, his cape fluttering dramatically as he turns away. "A safe word. For you." He gives it pause, hating that Hux is insisting upon something so inconsequential and pointless. As if there were anything Hux could do that Kylo couldn't stop himself. Please.

"Pick something you are capable of remembering even when you're so far gone you barely know your own name," Hux tells him.

Kylo glares, wants to express his serious doubt that Hux would be capable of inducing such a state in him, wants to remind him that it will be he, Hux, who gives in first, but he stops himself as a brilliantly twisted idea comes to mind. His mouth curls into a malicious grin. "How about a safe phrase, General?"

"Whatever word or words you choose to give you an out, it doesn't matter," Hux says, impatient. "Just make it something memorable."

"Very well. But keep in mind, I won't be the one saying it. So, General. Something memorable to end the scene. Three little words: I love you. That's all you have to say; the scene will end and you will be safe again."

Hux's upper lip curls, his cheeks flush. "Don't be ridiculous," he spits. "Pick something more sensible, something you'll actually be able to articulate if needed."

"I won't need it," Ren replies, "I told you. _You_ will be the one to need it. So if you think you really can't stomach it, perhaps _you_ ought to be the one to set the phrase, General."

"I can endure anything," Hux snarls, getting half out of his chair to lean over his desk. "I have already endured far more than you'll ever know. I take no issue with the nonsense you choose to set for yourself; it will be your own undoing in the end."

"We'll see," Ren smirks. "We'll see."

And with that, he turns and stalks out the door.

  
//

  
Three cycles later, Kylo goes to Hux.

The first of their encounters is nothing more than a release of years of pent-up frustration and their mutual hatred of each other.

Unsurprisingly, it begins with awkward tension.

They don't even really remove their clothes, they just take out their dicks and wordlessly watch each other jerk off. Once they get hard, they inch their way closer to each other, until they're close enough to rut against each other. When primal lust overcomes better sense in their minds, their touches get a little freer, a little rougher. Hands slip below the layers of unremoved clothing. They both come away with bites and bruises on their necks, deep scratches that chafe under their clothes for days after. Kylo could have sworn Hux ripped a fistful of hair from his head when he came, spilling hot over Kylo's knuckles.

Their second and third encounters are much the same.

To his immense satisfaction, Hux discovers that Ren likes being slapped hard across the face. As in, he _really_ likes it. Once, Hux hits him so hard his lip splits and he comes on the spot. They both stare in quiet surprise until Hux, recovering first, takes the opportunity to taunt him, mercilessly, telling Kylo what a depraved, degenerate creature he is, which only serves to rile him up again until he takes himself in hand and rings out a second orgasm as Hux just sneers in disgust. And delight.  
  
//

  
The fourth time they come together, Kylo lets Hux fuck him. Hux shoves him face-down on the bed and thrusts into him roughly. Into the mattress, Kylo lets out a guttural scream as Hux sinks in, then grits his teeth together when Hux is fully inside, determined not to make another sound. He sensed Hux's satisfaction at eliciting this reaction from Kylo and refuses to give him any more. In response, Hux starts fucking him mercilessly, cursing him on every thrust and jackhammering his hips so hard against Kylo's ass, Kylo feels his balls slap against him.

He reaches in between his own legs, determined to get himself off before Hux is finished with him. As he does, Hux grabs a fistful of his hair and jerks his head backwards.

"Don't you fucking dare finish before me," Hux growls.

"Ah, w--watch me," Kylo replies, redoubling his efforts.

Hux releases him, then digs all ten fingertips hard into Kylo's pelvis and slams into him quicker, sharper.

It's almost too much.

It's almost perfect.

  
//

  
The next time they meet, sexual release is hardly at the forefront of their minds. The First Order's just lost significant territory on an important mining planet to an uncivilized band of guerrilla fighters. It was something that couldn't have been predicted, but it's causing massive backups and delays in scheduling and Hux has been in a sour mood about it for days. Kylo's luck's been no better, having only uncovered more dead ends in his search for Skywalker, and he's been taking it out on expensive First Order equipment. That hasn't helped Hux's sour mood.

In between all the setbacks and frustrations, when they finally find time for each other, all Kylo wants from Hux is a whip.

And, oh how Hux is ready to give it to him.

  
//

  
Combat training this week is excruciating. The lashes left on his back burn with every twist and turn, pulling at the raw skin and threatening to burst the healing scars open again. He forewent bacta patches, preferring the centering sting of the wounds.

And now each time Kylo slices his blade through a target, he thinks of how Hux looks brandishing his own weapons: fierce, focused, bloodthirsty. He would be loathe to say anything he does is modeled on Hux, so he doesn't say it. He simply strikes with the unfaltering confidence of a man hell-bent on eradicating whatever has the audacity to get in his way. And if that sounds like Hux, well. It is of no consequence.

  
//  
  
When Ren first came to him with the proposition, Hux had been skeptical. His first thought was that it was a trap. Ren was trying to lure him into some half-brained scheme to ruin his reputation or something of the like. Never one to spurn a challenge, and also eager to see Ren fail, he'd accepted. He's pleased to report that, thus far, it seems Ren was being uncharacteristically genuine in his request to engage in... extracurricular activities.

He's impressed, almost. He had figured Ren would give up quickly, hadn't expected him to actually tolerate and permit such mistreatment. Never has Hux found someone so hard to crack. Up until now, every man he has entertained had eventually given in under his cruel and unforgiving hands, and Hux had thrown each away after. No use for a broken man. But Ren has proven, as ever, an infuriatingly, exhilaratingly difficult puzzle to solve. Pain does nothing but encourage his debauchery; humiliation, too, a sure fire way to get him hard and leaking. Ren seems to need it far more than he hates it.

The insistence upon establishing a safe word was something Hux did more out of formality and respect for the practice than any sort of altruistic interest in Ren's well-being, of course, but he must admit, he is quite pleased that it hasn't been invoked yet. Not least of all because of what an asinine choice Ren made with the phrase. Ren had been so smug about it, too, thinking himself clever. No matter. The idiocy of it all will make it so much sweeter when he finally does capitulate.

And after all, Hux has hardly begun to test the limits. By his standards, he's been taking it easy, wanting to work Kylo into this slowly, to build him up so that the eventual breakdown will be all the more spectacular and satisfying. The time will come.

Hux takes a good last look at himself in the mirror, smoothing his hair back into place after a particularly vigorous session.

If he's being completely honest with himself, he thinks, he'd also accepted Ren's offer because he'd long harboured a secret desire to have him in such a way. Not just in the carnal sense, but at his mercy, under his boot and his whip. A place Ren, somewhat surprisingly, seems to enjoy more often than not. Having him sexually is just icing on the cake.

Satisfied, Hux pulls on his gloves and feels the leather creak as he flexes his fingers and curls his hands into fists. Having just gotten some practice in on Ren, Hux is now ready to command his entire fleet.

  
//

  
He's proud of himself, Kylo realizes as he puts away his bokken. That's a rare feeling. But it's true, he is. For several weeks now, he's taken everything Hux has given him without pout or protest. In fact, he's largely enjoyed it all, even gone as far as to ask for it sometimes now, when meditation isn't enough and his head is too loud. When he needs something to scatter his thoughts, center his mind, and ground him in the physical reality.

Hux might tut and fuss that he has too much work to do, but in the end, he is always willing-- and eager-- to entertain. They hardly even have to exchange words; Hux might not have the Force, but he can easily sense what Ren wants. Hux wants it, too.

Kylo can tell that Hux's favorite weapon is the crop, and few things elevate his feedback quite like being able to stripe Kylo's backside with one. Thus, it's become one of Kylo's favorites as well. He wonders, distantly, when pleasing Hux started to please himself.  
  
//  
  
Hux tilts his face up into the warm spray of the sonic and rinses the hard-earned sweat and the scent of Ren from his body.

He's feeling lighter now, tension relieved. He's almost begun to look forward to seeing Ren, strange though it sounds. But it's true, these sessions with Ren have had him feeling better as of late.

And it's not beyond his notice that these encounters improve Ren's moods as well, he thinks as he exits the fresher and gets ready for much-needed bed. Of course it's not beyond his notice, he notices everything. It's his ship, it's his job. But, Ren's transformation has been particularly noteworthy. He's less openly antagonistic on the bridge and in front of the others these days. Expense reports from damage he's caused have reduced dramatically. They genuinely have been getting on better as of late, in spite of what they do to each other in private. Sometimes, they even share a meal together in the mess hall. On such occasions, they don't speak, but Hux finds he doesn't mind Ren's silent presence and company. It's grown familiar. Ren is still an insufferable spoiled brat behind closed doors, yes, but even that has become almost enjoyable, as he has never once voiced complaint or protest about what Hux does to him, be it a whipping, a caning, or simply a good hard fuck. This engagement with Ren is hardly different than the galactic war they fight against the enemies of the First Order; Hux still has every intention of breaking Ren down eventually, but he is more than capable of playing a long game while he bides his time, getting what he wants in more subtle ways.  
  
//

  
Kylo loves when Hux lays him out and beats him with a flogger until his back is raw and stinging against the cold, recycled air of his quarters. On these times, Kylo will most often curl around one of Hux's soft pillows, burying his face into it and sob as the pain brings him the catharsis he so desperately seeks. When he inhales, the scent of Hux floods his senses and it only makes him cry harder when Hux brings the whips down on him again.

"Are you _crying_?" Hux had asked him the first time it happened, disgusted.

"So what if I am?" Ren had countered. He wasn't ashamed, and wouldn't allow Hux to try to make him feel like he should be. He wanted this, needed this, and there was nothing wrong with getting it.

Hux had just raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Well, if it ever gets to be too much for you, you know what to say."

Before Kylo could get another word in, Hux had struck him again, sending Kylo back towards that pleasant far-away place where nothing mattered but the knifing pain and the fact that he would never give in to Hux.

And he hasn't given in. Whippings, floggings, canings, even the ones he doesn't ask for. For all his talk and insistence on safety, Kylo had really been expecting more from Hux. Bruises and broken skin hardly necessitate the safe word he had been so adamant about establishing. Hux really thought he could break him this way.

Sweet, simple Hux, Kylo thinks snidely, believes he's such a perverse sadist just for brandishing a few weapons and leaving a few lingering marks. Ha. What does Hux know? He's a tactician, not a warrior. He doesn't know what real pain is. Perhaps Kylo should show him some time.

As he turns to go back to his quarters, he wonders if Hux would be receptive to the idea. Probably not. But then again, what does it matter? If he's not, he has an out. The same one that Kylo has. Three stupid words that would end the scene immediately.

And wouldn't Kylo just love to hear Hux choke on those words? Pink-faced and humiliated, barely able to get them out around his inflated ego. Kylo would demand he say it louder, repeatedly, and would ridicule him for it later. Kylo starts to consider.

  
//

  
When they first began this arrangement, Hux had simply assumed that Ren would not be able to match him in cruelty. Indeed, in the beginning, aside from a few retaliatory bites and scratches, Ren displayed no indication that he wanted to take charge of an encounter, or that he wanted to be the one to inflict the hurt and damage. He's been evolving recently, though, it seems.

No longer content to just be beaten and fucked, Ren has taken to testing Hux's own boundaries as well.

Fine. Let him. Unlike Hux, Ren's brand of corporal punishment is mostly reactionary, unthinking. It is not the same slow, deliberate violence that Hux is fond of carrying out and it's nothing Hux can't endure. Ren might win battles in this fashion, but it's hardly enough to win a war. Hux isn't concerned. He will simply have to try harder to really get beneath Ren's skin and pick at the frayed ends of all the strings barely holding the man together. He will break him. All in due time.

  
//

  
Naked, Kylo kneels on the floor of his own quarters as Hux binds his hands and ankles in complicated rope ties behind him. The room is cold, but Kylo's skin is warm where Hux's fingers have brushed it.

Hux pulls the last knot taut then slowly walks around to his front. He smirks. "I ought to keep you like that. Less trouble for me this way," he says smugly, causing Kylo to flush in spite of himself. He flexes under the ropes, but finds they have little give.

Hux gives Kylo an appraising look-over and then undoes his belt. Reaching a gloved hand into his jodhpurs, he takes out his cock and slowly begins to stroke it, watching.

Kylo has to resist the urge to squirm under the scrutiny. He wants for his robes, his mask. He wants Hux to stop staring and gloating and just fuck him already. Its been over a week since they last came together and Kylo's been missing the centering focus these sessions with Hux bring him. Besides, he's never particularly liked being openly watched and judged like this.

No doubt sensing his embarrassment, Hux continues on exactly the same.

"Exposure makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it, Ren?" Hux says without even trying to hide his enjoyment of this fact. He takes a step closer and places his boot just over Kylo's crotch. It takes everything Kylo has to resist the temptation to rut up against its leather sole. Hux's voice drops to barely a whisper. "Yet still you allow it. You have an awful lot of pride for someone so shameful."  
  
Kylo's dick twitches involuntarily. It's painfully hard and leaking now. The ties, the frustrating barely-there not-enough friction at his groin, Hux's taunts, the way he hasn't struck him yet, the scent of him right there before him-- it's almost overwhelming. He wants to cry-- more, he wants to tell Hux to either hurry up and get on with it or go fuck himself, but at this point it feels like even acknowledging Hux's stupid ramblings would be a conceit so he says nothing and looks away.

With the hand not on his cock, Hux seizes Kylo by the jaw and forces him to make eye contact. His foot shifts and hits the ground at Kylo's knee and Kylo immediately misses the pressure, light though it was.

"What if I pissed in your mouth, Ren? Would you tolerate that? Would you endure such mistreatment just for the sake of your unwarranted pride?"

Kylo bares his teeth.

"Of course you would, you would take anything I'd give you, so grateful for the slightest bit of attention and acknowledgement. Isn't that right, Ren?"

"Fuck you, Hux," Kylo growls.

"Open your mouth," Hux commands, voice deadly.

In a horrified panic, he invades Hux's mind to see if that really is what the man plans to do, and is relieved to find that Hux has no true interest in such activities; he's just pushing the limits of what he can get away with, taunting Ren with these empty threats to get a rise.

Kylo had almost, almost fallen for it. But, he thinks with uncomfortable certainty pooling in his stomach, Hux was right: he wouldn't have given in. And he is grateful for Hux's attention.

He grinds his teeth slowly before obeying, doing so with his best defiant glare, letting Hux know he does this because he _wants_ to, not because Hux told him to.

Hux tilts Kylo's chin up and then spits in his mouth.

Before Kylo can react, Hux has a hand on either side of his skull and is shoving his dick down Kylo's throat. He chokes, but Hux doesn't relent. He continues fucking him while Kylo coughs and gags around him. "Fucking whore," he hears Hux growl in between grunts, the words going straight to his throbbing dick. Hux's hands pull hard on Kylo's hair and it doesn't take long before he's coming, hard, shooting hot and thick down Kylo's throat. His dick pulses weakly in Kylo's mouth before he pulls out, spits in Kylo's mouth again, then makes him swallow it all.

"Good," Hux murmurs with a thumb on Ren's lower lip and his fingers hooked under his chin. Hux's eyes are dark and half-lidded in the wake of his release.

Hux always looks so different after he's just come. A lock of his hair has come loose from its gelled state and hangs limply against his sweaty forehead. He's breathing hard and his eyes are still dilated, but the palpable tension that usually defines him is noticeably absent now. Kylo realizes with no small amount of disgust that he _likes_ seeing Hux this way. Likes that he's probably the only one who does. Likes it, because he's done this to Hux-- broken his façade and destroyed his resolve.

His dick is full and aching now as Hux tucks himself back into his trousers, fixes his hair, neatens his uniform. He picks his datapad up looks at the chrono. "I supposed I ought to be going" he says.

Kylo feels his face fall. "What about me?" He snaps.

Hux glances back over at him as if he'd almost forgotten he was there and says, "I trust you'll be able to get out of that yourself," meaning the rope work.

"Of course I can, that's not the issue." Kylo snarls, indicating with his eyes to his leaking hard-on that he had implicitly trusted Hux to take care of. He will strangle Hux with his bare hands if he thinks he can get away with leaving him here like this, unattended and wanting.

Hux scrunches his nose. "I've got other things to do today, Ren, I have no time to entertain you further."

"Hux, please!" Kylo blurts before he can stop himself, desperate, "I'm so close. It won't take long, I promise."

Hux raises his eyebrows, an expectant look on his face. "You wish to end the scene?"

As soon as Kylo realizes what Hux is waiting for him to say, his mood shifts. "Fine then!" He shouts, flexing against the ropes so that they begin to fray and unravel. "Get the fuck out of my room."

With an smirk, Hux turns and goes.

The harsh clank of the doors snapping shut is followed immediately by Kylo bursting free from the ropes, furious. How dare he. How fucking dare he. Angrily, he grabs his aching dick and gives it a few rough tugs, cursing Hux's name and coming in record speed. Angry that Hux abandoned him, angry that he actually thought Hux wouldn't, angry that a man as simple and pathetic as Hux is able to affect him like this. As his sweat cools, he rubs his spend-sticky fingers together, thinking of how to destroy Armitage Hux.

  
//  
  
The first time it happens, Hux is caught off-guard. Suddenly Hux finds himself frozen to the spot, crop raised mid-strike, as Ren rises and turns around slowly, smirking. He winks, then sends Hux flying backwards across the room, crashing into the wall. Hux grits his teeth, willing his limbs out of stasis, but they refuse to obey. He's watches, furious, as Ren calmly strides over to where he lays paralyzed on the floor and plucks the crop from his immobile hand. With his foot, he rolls Hux from his side to his back and bends down, a knee right on Hux's sternum.

"How silly you look now, General," he remarks.

Hux bares his teeth, mad enough to spit, but not trusting that he'd be able to. Ren takes his own dick in hand, stroking it to full hardness.

"And how much more pathetic you'll look with this between your lips," he sneers. "What say you to that, General?"

Knowing he's being permitted to speak, Hux does: "Fuck you, Kylo Ren."

Ren's lip curls. For a tense beat, they stay only glaring at each other, before Ren finally moves. He seizes Hux by the jaw. "Yes, yes, I think so."

Knowing what was to happen doesn't save him the humiliation of it. Ren's dick slides in between Hux's lips, forcing its way deeper into his mouth, all the way until it rams up against the back of his throat. This is his penance, he supposes. Hux coughs around the intrusion, nostrils flaring as he struggles to breathe. "Good," murmurs Ren. He leans over Hux, taking his hands and pinning them to the ground. Then he begins to thrust.

When tears begin to form involuntarily, Hux pinches shut his eyes and lets Ren fuck his mouth, trying to concentrate only on breathing, not the burning shame of what he is allowing to happen to him. Some might say he deserves this, or worse. He's not going to give in, so he'll just have to take it like the feckless soldier he is. Luckily, and perhaps unsurprisingly, Ren doesn't take long before he's shooting hot down Hux's throat. Hux sputters and chokes again as Ren withdraws, slapping his wet dick across Hux's bruised lips for good measure. He pauses only a moment before rising to collect his clothing, releasing the Force-hold on Hux as he redresses in silence. Hux knows Ren has no further interest in him and that he will have to attend to his own needs once Ren departs, which he does the second Ren is out the door. Barely even bothering to rise from his spot on the floor, he turns over and grabs himself, fucking furiously into his hand, his breathing ragged through his abused throat. He makes a mess of the floor beneath him and swears, hating Ren, hating himself for not hating him enough.

It is time to stop going so easy on the man.

  
//

  
If Kylo thought Hux had stepped up his viciousness before, that was nothing compared to how Hux abuses him now. Hux no longer restrains himself when it comes to beating Kylo bloody.

It gets harder. Rougher. More dangerous.

Sometimes Kylo is forced to spend entire days on his feet because even the mere thought of sitting causes him pain. Still, he hasn't surrendered. In a way, he finds the challenge of it motivating and invigorating. Life-affirming, even. He has a body and he will use it to its full potential. There is a sick, twisted part of him, he realizes, that craves this.

Their bodies become so familiar to each other, it is only natural they start pushing them to new limits. That's what this had been about to begin with, anyway. Testing the waters. Overstepping boundaries. Crossing lines.

Not satisfied at just snipping at him on the bridge, Hux has become rather mouthy in bed, too. He's taken to growling into Kylo's ear any manner of degrading things, telling him how this is the only thing he's truly good for, making threats that Kylo's not too sure aren't empty anymore. Still, Kylo refuses to use their established safe word. The thought of having to utter something so completely humiliating is far worse than any punishment Hux is capable of doling out. Even as Hux ridicules him, calls him depraved and whorish, useless for anything but fucking, Kylo can take these insults. He can wear his injuries as points of pride. What he could never abide by is the disgrace of saying ..._that_ to Hux of all people. No, he would never.

He needs to show Hux that he can take it. He can take anything, any punishment, any humiliation, anything Hux is willing to give to him, Kylo is ready and willing to take it all. He will absorb anything Hux gives him, thereby absorbing his very essence. Besting him in every way.

He knows Hux will stop at nothing to see him reduced to surrender. His only alternative, therefore, is to make Hux give in first.

  
//

  
A few more weeks go by like this, trading blows, and blowjobs. It's never nice in the pure sense of the word, but there is something nice about getting a free pass to enact all manners of sordid sexual fantasies and casual violence on his long-term, well-hated rival. Hux can't say he's not enjoying himself. Most of the time, anyway. The times when Ren gets it in his head to seek revenge, if that's even what he's doing, are significantly less enjoyable for Hux. Ren thinks he's so clever with his holoporn-learnt sex talk, so powerful in how hard and how fast he can fuck. Hux is almost embarrassed for him, really.

But he can't deny, there is a certain satisfaction that comes with knowing that even at his worst, Ren still hasn't come close to breaking him. And he's always preferred a vigorous fuck to anything gentle or tender. Hatred keeps things from getting complicated, and to that end, Kylo Ren is exquisitely unmatched. Besides, being on the receiving end of Ren's dick isn't always as distasteful as he would have assumed. Something about the way Ren envelops him entirely, putting every bit of his energy and strength into these encounters with Hux is undeniably arousing. It brings him great joy to watch Ren overexert himself on his behalf, as if Ren's trying to show off, to impress him. Hux always makes sure to let him know how relentlessly disinteresting and disgusting he finds these displays, of course. And yet still he continues to allow Ren to do it. It's not allows so much as tolerates, he supposes. Endures, perhaps. A small price to pay to prove how much better he is than Ren.

  
//

  
Hux never stays after he's finished with him, and Kylo wouldn't want him to anyway. As far as he's concerned, he can barely stand the sight of the man just three seconds post-orgasm. Hux, it appears, feels the same.

After he's gone, Kylo lays in bed, thinking.

Even after all these weeks, seeing Hux get all wound up and vicious with him, the normally straight-laced man coming undone by his want of Ren's body is something that pleases Kylo immensely. And for as much as he loathes it on the command deck, Kylo loves how domineering Hux can be in the bedroom. He appreciates that Hux doesn't hold back anymore, and takes great pride in knowing that he is surpassing Hux's expectations of him. He must be, because Hux keeps coming back for more like a bitch in heat. The idea of that brings a smug grin to Kylo's face.

And while there is something deeply cathartic about getting fucked as hard as he hates himself, he does also relish the times when he gets to exact revenge for every vile thing Hux has done to him, too. He's learned how good it feels to have Hux impaled on his dick, clenching around him and crying out every time Kylo thrusts up into him. He loves making the little general moan with every inch he pushes in deeper, enjoys ridiculing him for allowing himself, the Order's highest general, to be used as a fuck toy for Ren's most perverse pleasures. Kylo can sense how much Hux loathes it when he talks to him like that, how much he hates it when Kylo uses the Force to pin him down and have his way with him, which is why he does it so often, but each time, Hux just sucks his lip between his teeth and refuses to say a word. It doesn't even get him aroused. He truly, genuinely hates it. And yet, he refuses to give in. To say the only words that will end the scene, make Kylo shut up.

It starts to make Kylo want to hear him say it even more.

So far, Hux can endure much more than Kylo had thought him capable. He's been able to take just as much as he gives. And though he will never say as much to Hux (Hux's ego needs no more inflation), there's something admirable in that, Kylo thinks. On the whole, their arrangement has worked out better than he could have ever imagined. He's had more sex, and more fulfilling sex, in these past couple months than the rest of his entire life combined.

And yet, still he lies here unsatisfied.

He wants to hear Hux's surrender so badly. It's something he thinks about nearly every time they come together now. He realizes now, looking at the bigger picture, that this whole time, Hux has been playing a long, slow game, a war of attrition. For him, it's not a blitz; it's a siege. Hux is annoyingly competent, Kylo must admit. Quietly absorbing his damage then redoubling his offense, Hux seems to believe that if he keeps at it, eventually Kylo will be worn down to the point where he is forced to surrender. Kylo has to laugh. He may not be a patient man, but he is unquestionably the stronger of the two. And he will enjoy winning this war immensely. He knows Hux derives little pleasure from Kylo's simple mistreatment of him, but Kylo's not doing this for Hux's sake; he's doing it for himself: because he wants to hear Hux surrender.

Hux may have a resolve strong as kyber, but even kyber can be cracked. He wonders just how far he'll have to go to break Hux. How far he's willing to go. It's starting to become such a singular obsessive focus that he decides, _as far as it takes_.  
  
//

  
Lately there are times when Hux thinks Ren really does mean to kill him. And in equal, if not greater, measure, there are times when he thinks of killing Ren. There are times when he thinks, perhaps, even if Ren did fall back on the chosen safety word, maybe, just maybe, Hux wouldn't hear him. Wouldn't that just be too bad? There are times when he's buried balls deep, with Ren witless and moaning beneath him that he thinks how easy it would be to reach for the knife beneath his bed and finish the job. The spoiled, entitled brat has it coming.

But despite his hatred of Ren and the recent uptick in Ren's cruelty, Hux finds he doesn't entirely want to end their arrangement. He so enjoys torturing Ren, eliciting screams and cries from the proud knight, and fucking him isn't bad, either. The way Ren's face contorts when he's so close to climax, the way he starts to mindlessly beg and plead for Hux to let him come gives Hux a sense of power that is hard to rival, even in the battlefield. He still gets immense satisfaction from the times when Ren is pliant and yielding, desperate to be beaten, or brought to heel. He's told Ren more than once that his pouting lips were designed to fit around his cock, one of the few things he says to Ren that he actually means. He's never had a partner as uniquely challenging as Ren. And Hux has always enjoyed a challenge.

Besides, it's been months since Hux has had to replace a lightsaber-damaged console. They're still sharing wordless meals in the mess hall during operational hours, too, the companionable silence is something they can both enjoy with their clothes on. When has Hux ever had such camaraderie? Wouldn't it be a shame to end it all so unceremoniously and so soon? Hux supposes he can withstand the shame of it and keep Ren alive a little longer.

Unfortunately, given Ren's wild recklessness, there is a very real possibility that he will one day kill Hux first, intentionally or not. Yet though he has no interest in dying, Hux certainly would prefer that over having to fall back to their regrettable choice of safety word. Why had he agreed to that foolishness? he thinks now. He should have refused it outright.

Ah well, no matter; he would never fall so low as to use it. Ren lacks the ability to truly reduce him to that. There's nothing that foul man can do, Force or otherwise, that could get Hux to capitulate, and those words will not be coming out of his mouth, now or ever. Let Ren try his best and do his worst. Hux can endure anything, and Ren best learn that quickly. Besides, Hux has a few ideas on how to really take Ren apart... some of which will require some planning and preparation, but this is the sort of thing Hux not only excels at, but thoroughly enjoys. He will enjoy breaking Kylo Ren more than anything else.

  
//

  
Looking in the mirror, Kylo touches a finger to the dark bruise around his eye. He pulls the skin back gently to closer examine the burst blood vessels in his eye, courtesy of a mean sucker punch Hux landed after Ren had worked him up by insinuating he would never be anything more than Snoke's lapdog, a bootlicking sycophant whose only real value was appeasing Kylo's sexual appetite. It's tender, but of no concern. Kylo has his mask to hide the damage from the crew, and he got to reward Hux's cruelty with some of his own.

With his eye already blackening, Kylo had paralyzed Hux with the Force again, then bent him over his own desk and shoved his pants down to his knees, snarling that this was to remind him of his purpose. He hadn't even bothered removing his own clothes, just took out his dick, already hard and eager, and then fucked Hux so roughly the flimsis neatly stacked on his desk had fallen to the floor and scattered. He'd left his ass dripping with cum, not even removing the Force-hold on him until well after he'd redressed and left. He thought he'd let Hux stew with the idea that someone could come into his office unannounced and find him like that.

And yet, still, throughout it all, Hux hadn't called mercy. After a time, Kylo had released him simply because it wasn't with the mental effort to keep the Force-hold in place. Hux's stubbornness, it seems, knows no bounds. Kylo supposes he knows something about that.

He brings his icepack back up to his eye, and heads to bed. With the lights off, Kylo lies in the quiet dark and again starts to fantasize again what it might be like to hear Hux give in. To finally cross the line and force Hux to say those choice words Kylo picked all those weeks ago, just to taunt him. He imagines it happens when Hux is squirming beneath him, face red from crying at the hands of the abuse Kylo has subjected him to. His dick stirs at the prospect of having Hux so completely at his mercy. Though he just came inside of Hux maybe an hour ago, he can't help but reach into his pants and grab himself as he continues his daydream. In this fantasy, he's got a hand around Hux's throat-- no, not his hand, the Force. His hands are preoccupied-- one is around Hux's dick, the other's got two fingers up Hux's ass. Yes, that's it. But something's not quite right with this. Erection flagging, he shakes his head and starts the fantasy over. Here, this time, Hux isn't just putting up with Kylo's antics because he's too proud to concede defeat, but because he loves it. Kylo's making it so good for him, better than anyone else ever has. Hux is being undone by Kylo's expert ministrations, hating himself for how much he loves it. He's crying because no one has ever given him exactly what he wants before, not like Kylo can. Hux is furious at his weakness, hopelessly aroused, and all but begging to come, but Kylo won't let him until he makes his shameful confession.

When Kylo comes, he's imagining Hux, tears leaking from his eyes, babbling "I love you" again and again as Kylo works him through his orgasm.

After a very long moment, Kylo rolls over and pulls the blankets all the way up to his ears, trying not to think too much into what this could mean.  
  
//

  
"I thought we'd try something different tonight," Hux says when Kylo arrives in his chambers at the appointed time. The flippant way he says it, he could just as easily be talking about watching a different holovid, or sampling a different meal.

Ren scoffs. "Finally realized it'll take more than a flogging to get me to beg for mercy?"

Indeed, that is what he's realized. He doesn't mind the chance to prove to Ren what he is truly capable of enduring, it is that hubris which gets him through Ren's trials, but Ren's been growing increasingly reckless as of late. Hux knows he'll have to do something soon, lest he end up dead. Or worse. Given that Ren will often himself ask for a flogging, Hux knows corporal punishment alone won't do the job. Nor will humiliation. He suspects the times when he leaves Ren used but unattended to are the closest he gets to forcing the safe word, as it most often transforms Ren into a greedy, begging mess, but even that, Hux knows is not going to be enough to make the man really, truly give in. Ren will beg and plead, sometimes he even cries, but he hasn't ever resorted to speaking their agreed-upon safe words. Thus, it is time to once again try something new. He thinks he's got it this time.

He turns, brandishing a thin metal rod in his hands.

Ren eyes it suspiciously, blinks and frowns.

"Do you know what this is, Ren?"

Ren is quiet, which means he doesn't. Of course he doesn't. Hux can't fight his smug grin.

"This, Ren, is what they call a urethral sound."

From the blank expression on his face, this information does not seem to clarify anything for the man.

"Strip." Hux commands, not wanting to give away the surprise just yet. "And sit on the edge of the bed."

Ren, still looking confused, obeys regardless. No matter how often it happens, seeing Ren follow his instructions never fails to send a spark of arousal through him.

As Ren takes his seat on the mattress, looking stiff and rightfully wary, Hux pulls on a pair of medical gloves and retrieves the sterilized lube he picked up special at medbay. No one had asked him questions. Hux doesn't want to know why. He approaches Ren and kicks at the insides of his ankles to get him to spread his legs wide enough for him to stand between them. Ren eyes him with a curious apprehension.

"This, Ren, is going in your cock," Hux tells him plainly, slicking the sound with lubricant.

That catches Ren's attention. He snaps his head up. "In-- What?"

"I believe you heard me," replies Hux, bored, as if speaking to a petulant child. In a way, he kind of is.

Ren grabs him by the wrist. "No."

Hux quirks an eyebrow. "'No?' I don't believe that was the safe word you so delicately chose."

Ren's lips quiver with want to say more. He flares his nostrils and works his jaw.

"So unless you've got something more to tell me, I suggest you spend your efforts trying not to get a full erection. That might become... painful. For you."

To Hux's great satisfaction, Ren releases him and says no more.

Hux squats down and rests his elbows on Ren's thighs. He takes Ren's half-hard dick in hand, sliding his foreskin back to reveal the head. Appling a generous amount of lube, he lines the device up with his opening. Carefully, slowly, he presses it in. It sinks in gradually, eased by the lubricant, and Hux divides his attention equally between watching it disappear into Ren's cock and watching as Ren's face contorts in a fascinating array of expressions.

It's almost completely in now, and Ren's eyes are watering. He's got an iron grip on the bedsheets and his face wound up so tight he probably couldn't utter the safe word if he tried. Hux knows he is bordering on an irresponsible level of play if Ren is really so far gone, but he's beyond caring about that just now; he just wants Ren at his mercy.

He works the sound in just a touch deeper, if the measurements are right, it should be just enough to stimulate the prostate and invoke a very painful erection for Ren. He wiggles the rod ever so slightly.

At once, Ren gasps and begins panting and squirming.

It seems the measurements were correct, Hux notes with a malicious smirk.

Ren squeezes his eyes shut and screams. He can't stop the tears that well up and force their way out and down his cheeks regardless.

Fuck, Hux loves it when he cries. He might even enjoy making Kylo cry even more than making him come. He supposes he just likes making Kylo do _anything_. And what he wouldn't give to make him cede entirely.

"Do you give in, Ren?" Hux asks, grinning wickedly as he gently massages Ren's inner thighs. "Should I stop?"

Ren says nothing, just continues his ragged, uneven breathing. Such insolence will not do.

Sharply, Hux flicks his balls. Ren screams again, his eyes flying open.

"I asked you a question."

Ren just bares his teeth. "F-- fuck you, Hux."

"Hmm."

Careful to leave the sound in place, Hux moves in a little closer. He pokes his tongue out and licks a straight line up the seam of Ren's sac, there he pauses with his breath warm on Ren's testicles and feels Ren's dick twitch in his hand. Ren whimpers. Hux sucks one of Ren's balls into his mouth, rolling it around on his tongue and squeezes the base of Ren's cock. He feels Ren grow even harder, which, with the sound firmly in place, must be extremely uncomfortable. Knowing this, he runs his tongue up Ren's dick, mouthing at the shaft until it's fully erect and Ren is whimpering incoherently. Hux licks at the head of Ren's dick, at the slit where the sound has entered him, suckles it tenderly and then works his way back down, again sucking on his balls. Ren's body is completely rigid, his hands still fisted in the sheets, trying so hard to not move, lest he worsen the pain. Hux doesn't need the Force to know that this is the closest Ren has ever been to wanting to surrender, to say those words and end the scene. He hadn't realized until just now quite how much he wants to hear Ren say it. He reaches down with one hand and begins palming himself through his jodhpurs as he works to keep Ren's cock throbbing and painful.

Stars, he loves this-- the musky scent of Ren flooding his nostrils as he sucks the salty, leaking head of his cock, Ren's whimpers filling his ears, Ren, completely at his mercy.

Ren is mewling, huffing, babbling, now, a frustrated, crying mess. Hux sucks harder on his balls, rolling each one over on his tongue and brushing the base of Ren's dick with his nose. Ren is calling his name now, begging. The control, the power, it's bringing Hux quickly to his end. Swiftly, he rises and pushes down his jodhpurs and undergarments, he seizes a fistful of Ren's hair and shoves him backwards on the bed, planting a knee at either side and taking his cock in hand.

Distantly, he remembers that he'd been trying to get Ren to give in, but he's lost sight of that goal now, focused only on chasing this impending orgasm. Ren hasn't given in, not even remotely, but it doesn't stop Hux from imagining it anyway: crying, _I love you, Hux, I love you_.

So often, he has fantasized about _how_ he would get Ren to say those words, but now is the first time, maybe, that he gives any thought to what would be like _when_ they are spoken. His lips would shake, his voice would tremble. He'd have tears in those deep dark eyes, much as he does now, imploring Hux not just to stop, but to stop and love him, too. A few quick strokes and Hux is panting, then coming hard and fast all over Ren's blotchy tear-streaked face.

Once he's rung himself out, he rises and turns away quickly to redress.

As the high of his orgasm fades, reality comes back into focus. His gut clenches uncomfortably as he recalls what he was picturing when he came. Ren-- Best not to think about that just now. Turning back, he sees that Ren hasn't moved, lying rigid on his back, eyes pinched tightly shut, tears and Hux's spend coating his face. _Beautiful like this_, Hux thinks treacherously. Though a secret part of him wants to, he doesn't linger too long, instead he goes over to give Ren's dick a clinical pinch as he carefully extracts the sound. Ren whines through his nose as the metal rod leaves his body but makes no effort to get up or even open his eyes.

"Well done, Ren," Hux tells him as blandly as he can despite the uncomfortable churning in his stomach. "You've survived your first sounding." He immediately turns and retreats to the fresher to rinse the device and hide from his shame.

"First?" He hears Ren say.

  
//

  
Kylo stalks around his own room in circles, plotting how he is going to get Hux to say those words. It is not beyond his notice that Hux's games are becoming increasingly difficult to withstand. Hux seems just as determined now to get Kylo to give in as Kylo is for the reverse. The sounding was only the latest in Hux's particularly vicious arsenal.

Kylo also knows Hux has thought, on several occasions, about the knife he keeps beneath his mattress. Or the knife he keeps in his boot. Or the one hidden up his sleeve. Hux weirdly has many knives, and he thinks about them often. Specifically how he could use one to slice Ren's throat wide open, or plunge one deep into the pulse point of his neck. Kylo knows all of this, sometimes he even extends his neck just a bit, exposing that carotid artery as a dare. An offering. _Do it, then_.

Hux hasn't taken him up on it yet. Kylo does worry that he might be pushing Hux in that direction with his own relentless assaults, that Hux might sooner drive that knife in between his ribs than speak those words they'd agreed upon months ago. In fact, he's sure that Hux would. But Kylo won't give up that easily. He can't. Nor will he give in. Hux would mock him in ways far more wounding than their usual banter and play. And then, having won his victory, Hux would leave him forever. Unacceptable. He'll kill Hux first, if it comes to that. No problem.

  
//

  
Hux had tied Ren down and ridden him hard earlier tonight, his fingernails digging hard into the supple flesh of Ren's nearly-hairless thighs. As a test of sorts, he hadn't put a cock ring on Ren first and of course Ren, overgrown man-child he is, hadn't been able to hold back. He'd come without warning, muttering half-hearted apologies and curses as he filled Hux's ass. Well, Hux wasn't letting him get off that easily. He'd made sure to let Ren know exactly how pathetic and juvenile such a lack of restraint was, then turned around and sat right on Ren's face, making him suck every last drop of himself out of his ass. Impressed equally by his own ingenuity and Ren's skilled tongue, Hux had brought himself to completion in that position with a few quick strokes, then collapsed on the bed, exhausted.

He recalls it now, lying in bed alone, listening only to the dim hum of the ship's engine. Ren had used his Force witchery to undo the ties as Hux laid beside him and then... he'd lingered. Instead of rising and cleaning himself, taking his leave, Ren had lain in Hux's bed longer than was necessary. And Hux... hadn't kicked him out. He needs to be wary of that, he thinks now with sinking certainty. It is one thing to enjoy Ren's body, it is another thing entirely to enjoy his presence.

Eventually, Ren had risen and redressed, but as he was pulling on his helmet and making to leave, Hux had almost called out to him. He'd stopped himself himself, though, because what would be the point of that? Stupid. They'd already had each other, and had quite enough of each other at that. Hux had snapped his mouth shut and and cleared his mind of the thought. Ren went without so much as a backwards glance.

Hux will have to end this soon. Though he was in no hurry to rush to the end of their arrangement before, Hux worries Ren's instability must be contagious if he himself is starting to develop such Ren-like irrational impulses. In spite of himself, his thoughts begin to slip sideways towards that which Hux has explicitly forbidden himself from thinking about.

It's the first time Hux has dared to let his carefully manicured thoughts wander down this path since that regrettable instance when such ideas brought him to climax. He imagines Kylo saying it, _I love you, Hux_.

Hux would ridicule him, of course. The mighty Kylo Ren, the one who swore he would never need such a fall-back. The one who so arrogantly chose the words "I love you" thinking it would be he who broke Hux instead of the other way round. Hearing him speak the words, broken and weak... Hux would enjoy that. Relish it, even. But, stars, what if he _meant_ it.

Heat flares in Hux's chest and he feels his stomach knot up. He has no delusions of course of that ever actually being the case-- wouldn't want it anyway-- but the thought of it is somehow... no. Better not to think about it.

He does not sleep much that night. In the harsh light of morning, he'll tell himself it was because he was up all night designing the blueprints of Ren's ultimate capitulation.

But he's never been a very good liar.

  
//  
  
Kylo has always prided himself on his high pain tolerance. He knew from the very beginning Hux would have no chance at breaking him, a battle-tested warrior, Master of the Knights of Ren. However.

Tonight.

Though he would never, ever admit it, tonight he almost --almost-- considered giving in. Saying those words.

He'd been nude in his bed, lying on his back in a calm, post-orgasmic haze when suddenly he felt the point of cold metal at his throat. Opening his eyes revealed Hux with his knife brandished, the sharpened tip resting right at the knot in Kylo's throat. Kylo felt the bite of it when he swallowed. Hux hand was steady, but the look in his eyes was not.

"Turn over." He ordered.

Slowly, Kylo put his palms up non-threateningly and carefully obeyed, turning to lie on his stomach, his back to Hux. An armed Hux. His heart was pounding hard in his chest. Was this it? Had he really pushed too far this time and would he now be paying with his life? He knew he had the ability physically stop him at any moment, a luxury that Hux was not afforded, but still he did not, even as Hux ground a knee into the small of his back, grabbed a fistful of hair, and wrenched his head back to expose his long, pale neck, drawing the blade against it once more.

His breathing came in short, frantic puffs through flared nostrils, afraid a deeper breath would result in a most-unwelcome tracheotomy. He concentrated on trying not to squirm.

"I could slit your throat right here and now, leave you to bleed out in your own bed," Hux growled. Kylo fought the urge to swallow, acutely aware of how sharp the knife's edge is against his skin. Hux jerked his head again roughly. "Well?"

Kylo said nothing. That hadn't been what tempted him to speak those words.

"I've got you so whipped you won't even protest, is that it?" Hux had snarled. "You think I won't do it?"

Kylo exhaled shakily and closed his eyes. He knew Hux would. He just didn't care.  
  
Behind him, he heard Hux muttering something that sounded like "Irresponsible." Or "Brat." And then, "If you want to be a mere plaything for me so badly, so be it."  
  
With that, Hux had withdrawn the threat and shoved his face back into the mattress. Kylo had assumed he was going to take his leave, and the thought of it made his chest constrict, and a hot flare of anger coursed through his veins. He fisted his hands in the sheets.  
  
But Hux didn't go.

Repositioning himself, he straddled Kylo's hips. One of Hux's hands came to rest on Kylo's left shoulder blade, softly at first, then gradually Hux began leaning his weight onto it. Kylo hissed through his teeth when he felt the cold blade pierce the thick skin of his right shoulder. A short, thin line, not deep enough to do any damage, just a superficial mark, but enough to drag his entire attention to the hurt of it. He repeated this motion, over and over in a circular fashion that Kylo eventually recognized as the First Order insignia being tattooed into his flesh. Kylo grit his teeth hard and buried his face into the mattress to stop himself from screaming as each cut seemed to hurt worse than the last. As Hux continued, Kylo felt his consciousness slipping slowly into that far-away place where nothing mattered, not even caring that his pillow was becoming quickly saturated with drool.

When Hux finished the final line of the outer hexagon and paused, Kylo breathed a sigh of relief, coming back to himself far quicker than he'd wanted to. The blinding pain was almost over. But Hux didn't stop there. He drew a straight line. And then another. A third. A looping curve. Another incision, and Kylo realized: Hux was carving the letters of his name into his skin. Marking him as his property.

Still, this hadn't been what tempted him to speak those words.

In fact, as the knife sliced through his flesh, the searing pain was the only thing on his mind, blanking out all other thoughts and feelings until he felt like he was drifting back off into that euphoric abyss and, blissfully, he thought nothing at all.

It was only after, when he suddenly became re-aware of his surroundings, that he had almost spoken. Because when he came back to himself, he realized Hux still hadn't left. He realized Hux was not only still here, but was silently tending to the wounds he inflicted.

As if Kylo were a child who couldn't do it himself.

It was embarrassing to think that Hux really believed him so incapable, that was all, and he wanted Hux out immediately. The last thing he needed was Hux to see him as so weak and beaten that he needed to be cared for. A humiliation of the highest degree. As soon as he had his wits about him, he'd shoved Hux away and ordered he leave at once.

Hux was infuriatingly impassive to the command, his face betraying nothing as he set aside the bacta patches and had simply gone without protest or barb.

In fact, he went quietly enough that Kylo almost thought to call him back.

That. That was it: Hux leaving him. That's what almost drew out the words.

The memory of it now makes Kylo clench his teeth, work his jaw. With an angry scream, he kicks over the small nightstand where the bacta patches and bandages still lie, sending them all flying. He'll show Hux what he's capable of. He has to. He has to make Hux surrender. He feels a trickle of blood slide down his back from one of the cuts freshly reopened and he decides: it needs to be soon.  
  
//

  
When Hux comes to, he finds himself strapped to an interrogation board. He doesn't really remember how he got here, or even where here is, exactly. He struggles against the restraints, panic starting to mount when he catches a figure moving in the shadows. _Ren_.

"Release me," Hux snarls.

"No." Ren steps forward, out of the darkness and into the dim light so Hux can see his stupid, hateful face. "I think I'll keep you here."

"I have a ship to run, Ren."

"And you can return to it at any time, General. You know what to say."

Hux clenches his jaw and curls his hands into fists, seething. It was foolish of Hux to enter into this arrangement, given the multitude of advantages Ren has over him. But he didn't think even Ren would be this reckless. It is one thing to play these games in their free time, but to drag Hux away from his work with this is unacceptable. Still, though, he won't let Ren best him.

"I'm waiting," says Ren.

Ren, as Hux has come to learn, does not like to wait.

He leans into Hux space and studies his face. Hux feels his breath hot on his cheek and his presence heavy in his mind. He hardens his eyes, keeps them locked on Ren and struggles to keep him out of his head. It works about as well as his struggles to free himself from the restraints, but he can't let Ren know what he's been thinking about recently, what he imagines when he touches himself alone in his bed, what secret desire might actually break him in the end. Instead he focuses all of his attention on everything he hates about the man. Luckily, that is not in short supply.

"Fascinating," Ren murmurs. "You really do hate this." He puts a hand on Hux's groin. "You're not even hard."

Hux just grinds his teeth.

"That's fine," Ren says darkly. "You won't need to be."

The pressure in Hux's mind increases and his vision swims as he strains to keep Ren at bay. Ren raises a hand to Hux's temple. Not long after that, he blacks out.

  
//

  
Kylo dumps Hux's unconscious body onto his bed. He looks strange lying there, vulnerable and limp, so opposite of how he otherwise holds himself in bed. Kylo's gaze lingers. He could take him any way he wants, he thinks, with Hux completely powerless to stop it.

But the temptation he thought he would feel is simply not there.

That's not what he wants from Hux. Not anymore, if it ever was-- he can't remember when that changed, so maybe it's always been. Now he longs just to touch him, to brush his fingers over the short, coarse hairs of his manicured sideburns. This, he allows himself to do. He kneels at the side of Hux's bed and runs his fingers along Hux's jawline, then pauses on his mouth. He pushes back Hux's upper lip to expose the sharp point of his canine.

Even after all the trouble, he still failed today. He'd barely begun to dig into Hux's mind in search of the key to unlocking his ultimate surrender. Hux must have known that was what he was after, because he was guarding it well, and he still hadn't given in. He'd passed out before calling mercy. Kylo suspects even if he'd maintained his consciousness all day, he still wouldn't have given in.

They will kill each other before they break each other, Kylo thinks-- knows-- with unwavering certainty.

He sighs. The mattress dips, shifting Hux's otherwise motionless body when Kylo moves to sit down next to him. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands. Several long minutes pass while he feels sorry for himself and this entire fucking situation. This isn't how it should be, he thinks bitterly to himself. Maybe there's another way out of this, but Kylo can't see it. Not when Hux hates him as much as he quiet clearly does. There is not a chance in hell he will give that surrendering confession to Hux, only to have the man throw it back in his face, and calling off the arrangement without getting what he wants from it seems stupid after all the work he's put into getting this far, after everything he has endured just for the sake of _something_. Isn't something supposed to be better than nothing?

Beside him, he feels Hux start to stir. His voice is weak and hoarse when he says: "...Ren?"

Kylo shoots up quickly and turns back to him, his heart suddenly racing. "I won't go so easy on you next time," he shouts before storming out the door.  
  
//  
  
Lying supine in the dark, clutching what is probably a second cracked rib in as many days, Hux grimaces. He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is in over his head after all. Not even Snoke is as unpredictable in his violence as Ren is. Ren will kill him if this keeps up, of this he is sure. And yet, even if Hux were to give in, he doesn't trust that Ren wouldn't kill him anyway, just out of spite. He again thinks of the sharpened vibroblade tucked under his mattress. It wouldn't be too difficult to press too hard somewhere, to have a small slip up, to miss his mark by a few precious, deadly millimeters and put an end to all of this. He nearly did it just the other week, when he'd carved his name in Ren's skin. But that would hardly be a victory compared to what he really wants. He wants Ren to give in. He wants Ren alive and surrendering in the most intimate of ways. However, it might be too late for the ending he wants.

It's just a few stupid words, he tries to tell himself. It's not as if Ren saying them would make them true. He should be relieved of that. But to his own disgust and horror, he's not.

He wants Ren to say it. Because he wants it to be true.

Unsurprisingly, Kylo hadn't tended to the wound after he'd ordered Hux to leave and now it's left a scar. Hux saw it tonight. He'd seen his name etched in Kylo's skin and it'd left him wanting, so much. He wants for that to mean Kylo is his, truly his. But he's not. And knowing Ren's temperament, he never will be.

The secret, shameful, traitorous part of him that wants for this also knows that no amount of torture or humiliation could ever will this into being. He curses himself for being foolish enough to fall into this trap. Weak-willed, just as his father had always told him he was. This was a mistake, one that will no doubt cost him his life eventually, because he will be damned if he gives in now. He'll play it out to the bitter end. Ren can do whatever he please to Hux's body, but he will never give him the satisfaction of such a humiliating surrender. He will go to the grave with his secret. So be it.

  
//  
  
_Just say it_, Kylo thinks, almost-- dangerously almost-- a command in the way he taps into the Force as he thinks it.

Regardless, Hux doesn't say it. His face is blotchy red, turning purple, soon to be blue and yet he refuses to give in. Kylo's got a death grip around his throat. Hux couldn't get words out if he tried. But Hux isn't even _thinking_ to give in now, Kylo knows because he's inside Hux's mind, too. Hux would honestly rather die than say those words Kylo had specifically picked out to prolong their games. It infuriates Kylo, this cage of his own construction, and he tightens his grip on Hux's throat just to underscore his fury.

"SAY IT!" He roars.

Desperately, Hux's fingers scramble for purchase on Kylo's wrist, an unthinking and futile attempt to free himself. His lips quiver, the tiniest hint that he's intending to talk. Kylo's eyes widen, his heart constricts violently, and he relents his grip just enough for Hux to speak.

"I..." Hux grits.

"You, what, Hux?"

"I fucking _hate_ you, Ren."

Kylo closes his fist on Hux's windpipe harder than he ever has, it's honestly something of a miracle that it doesn't kill Hux right there. His eyes bulge a bit, blood vessels beginning to burst.  
  
It does nothing to weaken Hux's resolve. He might be killed, but he won't be broken.  
  
He doesn't understand. He's done everything in his power to break the general, to infiltrate his defenses and decimate his resolve. And yet, even on Death's door, Hux has not capitulated. He would truly rather perish in Ren's hands than surrender. Incredible, the amount of pride such a vain, useless man harbours.  
  
With an animal snarl, Kylo releases him and Hux immediately gasps for air, coughing and sputtering with an inelegance that gives Kylo his only meager bit of hollow satisfaction. There is no point in killing Hux anyway. Then he wouldn't be able to hurt him again. To fuck him again. To try once more to force him to giving in.

At this point, he's not sure what he can do to break Hux. He's forced to consider that it might genuinely not be possible. Which means, it will be he who gives in first. If Hux keeps up the way he does, he might just win this war after all. No. Kylo would sooner kill them both. Another time, however.

Kylo rises and sweeps out of the room without a word. Hux is too busy hacking and gasping to stop him. Not that Kylo would have stopped for him anyway.

  
//  
  
Hux doesn't see Ren for some time after that. The one time he does, he'd been prattling on about a droid with a map, something trivial and wholly unrelated to anything they once did with-- to-- each other. He tells himself he's grateful for it. Certainly he doesn't miss the more humiliating of Ren's mistreatments, though he quietly longs for the feeling of Ren's moistened skin against his as he thrusts into him, almost misses the way Ren holds him down to have his way with him, all the while suckling and biting at the join of his neck. Definitely he laments not being able to vent his own frustrations on Ren's backside with a crop or a cane. But Ren is too far out of hand now. He'd nearly died at Ren's hands on more than one occasion, and doesn't trust that his survival was anything more than mere good luck. This thing has spiralled beyond Hux's control, and if there is one thing Hux hates, it's not being in control.

And yet.

He catches himself trying to recall the exact scent of Ren, one that he's come to take a strange comfort in. Late at night, alone in his chambers pouring over reports, he glances over to the corner where he used to make Ren wait on his knees until he was finished with his work. If only it had been different, he thinks. They might have truly had something.

Oh well, it hardly matters. He tries not to give it too much thought. His superweapon is nearing completion, and that takes precedence over all else. If Ren wants it bad enough, he will come. Hux won't seek him out. He doesn't have the same self-destructive instinct Ren does. He's not that stupid.

He hopes.  
  
//  
  
And then...

Starkiller Base is gone, and with it, half the First Order's fleet. Everything is in chaos and ruins. The scavenger got away. The Resistance lives on, and is probably on its way to Skywalker now.

His father.

His father is.

He...

Kylo has just been discharged from medbay, skin still tingling from the bacta patches the medics had tried to put on his facial wound. He tore them off. Let it scar; he doesn't care. He needs. He needs... something.

Hux.

Hux has what he needs.

Pain. Humiliation. Catharsis.

He doesn't even remember the walk there, but suddenly he's pounding on Hux's door, demanding entry.

When Hux opens the door, he looks surprised to see Ren there. He also looks exhausted, frazzled, dark circles under his eyes, even worse than usual.

The last time Kylo had seen Hux was just before he passed out, back on Starkiller. Hux had looked bad then, skin pale and eyes frantic, and Kylo remembers trying to call out to him before slipping unconscious. He doesn't know if he succeeded or not. He almost thinks he hallucinated hearing Hux call his name instead.

Kylo shoves past him now without a word, immediately removing his clothing. He feels Hux's disapproving scowl at his back, but he's not in the mood for one of Hux's lectures on how now is not a "good time". Kylo will have this. Fuck what Hux wants. Kylo has needs.

Hux wisely keeps his smart mouth shut and follows him into the bedroom, untying the sash on his robe as they go.

"Your face looks better," Hux tells him as they finish stripping and come into bed. "Did medical clear you for physical activity?"

"Shut up." Kylo tells him, kneeling onto the mattress. "Doesn't matter."

Hux frowns. Then backhands him, hard, on the unscarred cheek. Kylo's jaw drops. His dick twitches weakly.

"You will answer my question," Hux demands. "I won't have you bleeding all over my bed."

Kylo wants to protest that Hux has never once cared about Kylo's blood spilt here before, but he's not looking for an argument just now, he needs so much more than that. "I'm... fine," he says. "They didn't explicitly clear me, no, but they didn't explicitly forbid me, either."

"Fine."

Kylo moves back to give space to Hux on the bed, which Hux takes. It's strange, though, Hux usually doesn't follow him so closely. He tends to take his time removing his clothing, selecting his weapon, and joining him on the bed only after he's been roughed up and ready to be fucked. Kylo doesn't quite know what to do with this, it's out of his depth. He waits for Hux's direction, hopes that Hux will give him some soon, before he starts spiralling harder. Everything just feels so wrong right now. He feels lost, adrift.

"Starkiller is gone."

"I know."

"It's your fault."

"I know." Kylo says, not wanting an argument. "So punish me for it."

Hux pauses, considering, then leans back on his heels, levelling him with an even gaze. "They told me you killed him."

Kylo feels his pulse jump. There is only one _him_ he could be referring to. This is not the conversation Kylo was expecting. This is, in fact, the last thing Kylo wishes to discuss at the moment. Perhaps that's precisely why Hux is bringing it up, but Kylo won't give him that satisfaction. "So? What of it? You killed your father too."

"Hmm, so I did."

"Enough talking," Kylo says, because it is. They never talk this much in their encounters, especially not of topics such as this. He feigns boredom and rolls over onto his stomach, presenting Hux with a canvas to injure. When Hux doesn't immediately approach him, he looks back over his shoulder and snarls: "Well? Get on with it already!"

Hux frowns, then forces him onto his back. "This way."

Kylo swallows his protest and remains on his back looking up at Hux, who wastes little more time, reaching for the lubricant kept in his nightstand and slicking himself up. He spends even less time preparing Kylo-- and honestly, given the amount of painkillers the droids in medbay have been pumping into him this week, he needs little preparation anyway-- before sliding himself in.

Kylo's eyes fall shut and he sighs inwardly. After so many weeks without this, having Hux back inside him feels like an piece of himself he didn't know he was missing.

"Look at you, you're already bruised and bleeding. You let someone else permanently wound you, some mere scavenger?" Hux says, fisting his hand in Kylo's hair and jerking his head backwards viciously. "Do you really crave humiliation that much?"

"No," Kylo says, not sure why he feels compelled to clarify, why he needs Hux to know. He suddenly regrets tearing off the bacta patches. It will likely never properly heal now. "She was... this is... It's different. It's nothing like what you do to me."

"Damn right it's not," Hux says with a harsh snap of his hips. Kylo nearly yelps in pain. He takes a moment to gather his breath, then brings his feet up to dig his heels into Hux's back.

"Yes," he breathes. This is what he came for. "Fuck me."

Hux shifts and presses his forearm firm against the column of Ren's neck. He leans down harder, restricting Ren's intake of oxygen. He thrusts into him again, causing Kylo to cry out again, stifled though it is.

"Harder," Kylo rasps. He needs this.

Hux's teeth are bared. He leans in and sinks his teeth into Kylo's exposed neck, sucking hard on spot where his pulse races.

Kylo brings his hands up to Hux's sides, fingernails cutting in hard to the flesh of Hux's back. "Yes. Harder. More. Hurt me," he growls.

Hux pulls off and sneers down at him. Uncomfortable under Hux's scrutiny, he closes his eyes but somehow he ends up seeing what Hux sees: himself with his eyes shut tight, sweat glistening on his skin, hair plastered to his forehead, bruises formed all down his pale neck. He looks crazed. That's fine, he feels as much. "Hurt me," he pleads, trying to recenter his focus and detangle his consciousness from Hux's. "Break me."

But there's something in the timbre of his voice, he hears it as Hux must hear it... something already broken and desperate. Sees himself as Hux does, eyes red-rimmed and wet, tear tracks visible on both sides.

"No," Hux whispers, stilling his own body.

Kylo's face twists into a scowl. He sets his jaw so that when he speaks, his voice will be steady and strong: "Do it," he commands, louder. Confident. "Fuck me. Harder."

"No, Ren."

"Do it!" Kylo roars, his eyes snapping open and locking onto Hux's. "Hurt me!"

"I won't!" Hux yells back at him.

"Why?"

"Because!" Hux says, hesitating as Kylo glares up at him, furious and wanting. Kylo's never seen him looking as torn as he does now and he doesn't like it one bit. Hux isn't allowed to be insecure. Kylo needs him to be the shore to tether himself to. "This isn't what you need right now."

"Fuck you," Kylo spits. "Since when have you ever given one shit about what I need?"

"Are you really so stupid?" Hisses Hux in return, slamming his body into Kylo's hard for good measure.

That's more like it. Kylo throws his head back and moans, shouting again, "Yes! Again!"

"No, Kylo." Hux says firmly.

Kylo stops. That's the first time Hux has ever called him by that name. His eyes blink open in confusion. And terror. This must be the end of this. Hux is calling it quits. He's had enough of Kylo and their encounters. It's why they haven't been together like this since... He realizes he's openly weeping now, which is not altogether unheard of for him, but he didn't know he was doing it until just now. "Why?" He asks again, less a demand this time and more a pleading question. Desperate for the kind of release only Hux can offer, he asks again: "Why won't you give me this?"

"Because, Ren. Because!" Hux's eyebrows pinch together. He looks just as frustrated as Kylo feels. Idiot. This isn't about him. If this truly is the last time, then Kylo will squeeze every last drop out of him first.

He bares his teeth and digs his fingertips into the meat of Hux's ass. "Hurt me," he commands, angry and desperate.

"Kylo," Hux starts, using that name again, "I love you."

Kylo freezes. His eyes widen, he swallows, blinks up at Hux, who's looking as nauseous as Kylo suddenly feels. There is no sound. The silence between them is deafening. Neither moves.

Kylo can barely breathe, his head is swimming, pulse pounding in his ears, he can't think of anything but what Hux has just said. Finally, they've been spoken. Their games are over. Kylo's won.

It is the emptiest victory he's ever known.  
  
It's not fair, these words he's wanted to desperately to hear, are being said in this context. Not even to spare Hux but to help _him_, Kylo Ren. It's not how this should be. None of this is how it should be. It's all so fucking fucked, he thinks as hot tears sting the corners of his eyes. He squeezes them shut again and grits his teeth hard enough to crack molars.

"Don't," he finally murmurs, voice barely perceptible. His eyes are still shut but he feels Hux looking down at him. Tears well up in the corners, pushing passed his closed lids. "Don't use that on me now."

"Ren..."

"Don't, Hux, please. Not now."

Any moment now, Hux is going to get up and demand Kylo leave. Their games are over. Their trysts are finished. Kylo should have known, given how Hux had been avoiding him. Of course this would be what breaks them, he thinks bitterly.

But Hux doesn't go. Instead he rubs the tears from Kylo's cheeks with his thumbs, then runs his fingers along the length of Kylo's scar. Kylo doesn't move, hardly breathes. It's not supposed to be like this. It was never supposed to be like this.

"I thought I was going to lose you there, on Starkiller," Hux says.

Kylo swallows thickly.

"It took so long to get to you, what with the planet collapsing. And then when we found you, there was so much blood, Ren. You had gone so cold and pale."

Kylo feels the hot tears continue to leak from his eyes, which Hux just brushes away again. It's almost too much to hope. "What are you saying, Hux?"

He's not hard anymore, neither of them are, and Hux slips out of him without having finished, repositioning himself alongside Kylo's body.

"Ren," Hux says. "Look at me."

Kylo complies, though tears blur his vision. Hux is studying him carefully and Kylo is afraid to breathe.

"From now on, I will be the _only_ one to make you bleed, do you understand me?"

"Yes," Kylo whispers, his chest inflating. "Yes, Hux. Please." Hux takes Kylo's hand.

"Say it," Hux commands.

And suddenly, he realizes: this is what he wanted. Not to be hurt, but to be broken, and he only wanted to be broken to give these words a chance to escape. Kylo is finally ready to admit it: "I love you."

The corners of Hux's mouth curl upwards slightly. A faint blush dusts his pale cheekbones. "Well then," he says, looking up to meet Kylo's eyes. "I guess that makes us even." He leans in and takes Kylo's lips with his own. His mouth is soft, warm when he opens for Kylo's tongue. Kylo delves in again and again.

He's not sure what rules they're playing by anymore, or if indeed there are any, but he decides that if this is the cost of losing, it would be worth it, every time.

==


End file.
